thirty day challenge

thirty day challenge | about me

(feel free to comment or ask more questions!)

- five ways to win your heart (dec. 6)

  • listen to thunderstorms with me (or tell me about them)
  • experience new things with me
  • respect my boundaries, but inspire me to grow
  • enjoy my creativity, support me
  • try new teas with me (or surprise me with new ones)

- something you feel strongly about (dec. 7)

i am dedicated to healing for sexual abuse survivors. as a survivor, my healing has been constant. some days i am a refreshing glass of water with lemons. other days i am the melancholy shadow that hangs on my bones. healing is a process. it takes time. it takes self love and trust that others could also help. it’s my passion: to bring light and hope to those that have been abused. to show them that healing is possible. 

- a book you love (dec. 8)

i love bewilderments of the eyes by theresa sopko. she completely took my breath away in her novel. i hurt. i heal. i felt. i was present and very grateful for such a masterpiece of a book. definitely a great book to have while curled up in your blankets and a hot cup of tea. strong, fragile, beautiful, messy and wonderful. like life.

- bullet your whole day (dec. 9)
• woke up • took a shower  • went out with the boys and lani to eat at taco haven (in sa, tx, really good, 10/10 recommend) • looked for yellow things at pier 1 imports, world market and target • watched how the grinch stole christmas at lani's • came home, ate bill miller's • watched a year without santa claus • wrote a poem in my phone's notes • made some tea • read a few pages from interview with a vampire • went to sleep

- things you want to say to an ex (dec. 10)
uhm? maybe life is going well for you, maybe it isn't- either way, hope you're happy in whatever moment life has given to you. bye!

- your views on mainstream music (dec. 11)
if you view it as a tool to help support you, i think you have the right idea. if you view it as your life and primary concern, then, you have the wrong idea. life is best in your reality, media should be used to tell a story, share your art, ideas and what not. find people that vibe with you. explore new things. use it as a tool. grow with what it has to offer you.

- five pet peeves (dec. 12)
1) when people bite their fingernails. 2) seeing someone eat ketchup or peanut butter with their meal, gross! 3) when people are cruel to others for no reason (or they are redirecting their anger to those around them). 4) christmas music on a roadtrip. i can't do it. it's too much! 5) being required to talk to someone at a social event, i'd rather conversations to be organic, not forced.

- what you ate today (dec. 13)
morning: egg and toast. lunch: peach tea and a croissant with egg, beans, and ham. also, an almond croissant for a snack. dinner: nothing- went straight to bed.

- how important you think education is (dec. 14)
i feel as though it might be important and necessary depending on what someone wants to do in their life. you don't want a doctor that is uneducated and inexperienced. however, creatives don't need much schooling, as their art breaks rules and is a self expression. if you have the time, motivation, resources and finances to attend college, then, i'd say go for it, it doesn't hurt to try and see where it brings you. but, i also see no issue in going out into the world to learn things hands on. as long as you are happy where you are.

- put your music player on shuffle and write down the first ten songs that play (dec. 15)
"azure" fujitsu // "higher" creed // "close" nick jonas ft. tove lo // "mesmerized" lifehouse // "body like a back road" sam hunt // "rusty cage" soundgarden // "possum kingdom" toadies // "i lived" onerepublic // "humble." kendrick lamar // "glory days" roo panes

- your family (dec. 16)
my family tree is a bit wild. but, here goes nothing: my parents are roy and angela- i've never known a time when they were together, at least nothing i can remember. i have an older sister named heather, she now has a daughter, my lovely niece, serenity (i'm an aunt! yay!)- heather is all i have to look up to. i have a brother that is a year younger than i, joshua, he carries us all on his shoulders. i have two siblings that are two-ish years younger than i, sierra and matthew- complete opposites, sierra is the my little speed demon, running is in her veins; matt is figuring out where he belongs, with that comes many adventures, he is related to me simply because he is the brother of my younger siblings. my younger siblings are jaden and phoenix, they have their noses in books or their hands on creating. i also have two step siblings, now that my dad is married to a lovely woman named cece, her kiddos are robert and sara, they are silly and terribly missed by me, their eyes are on glowing screens and they love being out and about. my dad is made of motorcylces, home projects, and a mind that never settles. my mama is made of warmth, decorating cookies and her home, she is made of open arms and adding friends to our family.
and, that's all for my immediate family!

- five guys whom you find attractive (dec. 17)
oh, what a good topic: eddie vedder. morris chestnut. luke evans. jensen ackles. benjamin bratt.

- your opinion about your body and how comfortable you are with it (dec. 18)
what a shift of emotions! okay, well, i suppose it depends on where my head is at. some days i feel like a beautiful little lady, and i feel as though i radiate light. some days i feel okay. not the best, but not the worst. and, then, there are days where i can't stand to be in my skin. most days i'm okay with my body. it keeps me alive. it keeps me well. it gives me room to exist. and that is already more than i can ask of it. maybe one days i'll always be beautiful, but, for now, being alright is enough for me.

- what you wore today (dec. 19)
grey slacks, a navy blue blouse with gold buttons and white arrow pattern, black heels and some make up so that i don't look sleepy.

- your zodiac/ horoscope and if you think it fits your personality (dec. 20)
i'm a gemini, and i think my zodiac fits my personality perfectly! as for my horoscope today, i guess we'll see

- something you always think "what if..." about (dec. 21)
i always wonder what would happen if i had spoken up about being abused sooner? what if i had the courage to speak up at the little age of seven? how would my life look if i didn't let the abuse drag on? what if i was braver?
but, here is an open letter i wrote to survivors and myself. i refer to it, often. be patient with your healing process. it comes. it stays.

- something that you're proud of (dec. 22)
the fact that i make people happy. i pay close attention to what makes them smile, whether it be words, places or small things. and, i do my best to surround them with those good things. making people full of bliss is beyond beautiful to me. i'm proud to be their source of light. i'm proud to be light. :)

- a problem that you have had (dec. 23)
some nightmares, every now and then. they don't come often, so i brush them off as quickly as possible.

- five items that you lust after (dec. 24)
items? hmm. tea, raspberries, sweaters, cds, and silver things.

- your fears (dec. 25)
staying stuck in a place that is not good for me.

- how you hope your future will be like (dec. 26)
i hope i'll have a house with large windows where i could sit by to write in the sunlight or candlelight. i hope i'll have a pet snake and hear laughter and singing in my hallways. i hope my job will be full time writer and part time local shop something. i hope my life is easy to take in, and, even on the rough days, i hope i have someone's shoulder. i think i'll have a kid or kids. i also think that i'll find a way to travel often. i know it'll be messy, but i hope it'll be a life i could learn and create from. i hope i'm happier, healthier, sweeter.

- your academics (dec. 27)
not my fav. i think i could do without them- but some topics are interesting and i love to learn about them!

- something that you miss (dec. 28)
falling asleep to summer thunderstorms and writing/ reading outside in the summertime.

- five words/ phrases that make you laugh (dec. 29)
1. the quote from the singles film (1992, matt cameron) where cliff leaves a voicemail to janet singing "i'm walking down the avenue, and i'm looking at the garbage cans, i'm laughing at the people i see..."- i always laugh at this part, it's so silly and pure!
2. when michael and john michael argue about which direction to go and say "weast". i start cracking up!
3. "potato couch"- for the longest time no one told me this was the incorrect phrase, now i laugh when i hear "couch potato" because i remember how clueless i was!
4. saying the word "silly" out loud. it's just so.. silly! *insert glitter emoji*
5. when shane, from buzzfeed unsolved, said "hey there demons, it's me, ya boi." i couldn't contain my laughter! hahaha

- something you're currently worrying about (dec. 30)
if i had a car, i don't think i would stay in one place for too long. and, that slightly worries me, because i don't have a reason to stay.

- things you like and dislike about yourself (dec. 31)
i like that i move on quickly from things that are out of my control. maybe a few nights of stress, but not all day, every day. i don't like how quiet i can be, how tied to my inner thoughts i can be. i want to be more vocal about what i'm thinking.

- a quote you try to live by (jan. 1)
run the risk.

- somewhere you'd like to move to or visit (jan. 2)
washington state, or northern california. with the forests and the seaside. not forever, but for a while.

- five weird things that you like (jan. 3)
adding raspberries to my drinks, sleeping on the floor, collecting moments, dancing barefoot in summer thunderstorms, chewing on straws and flower stems.

- one thing you're excited for (jan. 4)
i'm excited to meet my poet- friends this year! and, to visit the sea, at least twice!

Cheyenne RaineComment